


Burdens

by Icse



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 02:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11682153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icse/pseuds/Icse
Summary: It doesn't always have to be life or death for Obi-Wan to get over his emotional constipation. Sometimes he just has to feel that it's a sacrifice worth making.





	Burdens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TiBun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiBun/gifts).



> I saw [this](https://obi-kenobi-wan.tumblr.com/post/163643721606/fanfic-kink-obi-wan-opening-up-and-actually) post on Tumblr and had to write something. Not sure if it's quite what was meant, but it's all open to interpretation, right?

The words on his datapad were starting to all blur together when Obi-Wan decided to call it quits for the evening. It was nearing his sixtieth straight hour awake and he was all but useless with exhaustion. He'd sent Cody off rotation at least half a cycle ago after he'd watched him fall asleep standing up. 

Which reminded him, he hadn't seen Anakin since then. Maybe he'd already returned to their tent for some shut eye. Though knowing Anakin, he was more than likely elbow deep in grease with the other mechanics trying to keep their shield generators running with the heavy bombardment hitting them.

Joints creaked as he stood up, muscles protesting movement after being still for so long. He resolved to drag Anakin to get at least a few hours rest before he did the same for himself. 

As he predicted, Anakin was barking orders to harried looking mechanics, irritation plain on his face. Everything looked to be running smoothly, although burnt out fuel cells vastly outnumbered their stock of good ones. If the Separatists kept this up and their blockade, they could wind up in serious trouble once the shields finally failed. 

"Anakin, you need to get some rest. They are competent mechanics and we will need your expertise if Yularen can't break their blockade to get us resupplied to keep our generators running as long as possible." He laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder, feeling the tension radiating off of him in waves. 

"I can't leave now, Master. Generator five could go down any moment." Anakin was shifting his stance every few seconds, a sure sign that he was running on final reserves much like himself. 

"Is the backup in place?"

"Of course-"

"Then I'm sure they can manage while you get a few hours rest. The shift just changed so they are far fresher than you." Speaking of the fresher, they could both use a visit based on the smell wafting from them. 

"You're right, Master. Lead the way." Obi-Wan was grateful Anakin had given in so easily. It usually wasn’t this easy.

Their tent was at the center of camp, right next to the command center in case they were needed in an emergency. Quietly, he stripped down to his under tunic and leggings, placing his lightsaber in easy reach under his pillow. 

He turned around expecting to see Anakin asleep fully clothed on his bedroll like usual and was surprised to see him still wide awake, a troubled expression on his face as he stared out at nothing. Through their bond he could feel the tension and turmoil churning in him, never a good sign. Sighing, he wistfully looked at his bedroll before going to sit next to his former padawan. 

"Are you okay, Anakin?" He let their legs rest against each other and laid a hand on his knee. All these years and physical touch was still the best way to get through to him. 

"Honestly, Obi-Wan? No." This was a surprise, he'd expected the same evasion and deflection Anakin usually gave at the question. 

"Would you like to talk about it?" He'd made the same offer before, but had been shot down each time. Obi-Wan was guilty of the same thing, but it was part of the dance they had been doing instead of communicating since Anakin's knighting. 

"It's just. I'm not sure. I am doubting myself all the time. Second guessing my decisions because every decision I make affects thousands of lives or more." He dropped his head into his hands, "I feel like a failure everytime I lose men. I feel responsible for every death, that I could've done something to prevent them." 

Obi-Wan didn't want to break the spell that had Anakin talking for once instead of brushing it off. He sent a wave of comfort and encouragement through their bond for him to continue.

"The worst part is how alone I feel through it all. And I shouldn't because I have the Force and that's all I'm supposed to need. I'm not supposed to have attachment, and I try, Obi-Wan, I really do. To let go of my emotions. To let go of my men. To let go of my failures. To let go of Ahsoka. But I can't." 

His heart ached with the grief and the loneliness he heard in Anakin's voice. If he was honest, it was more an echo of his own heart. 

"Anakin, you are a good Jedi and an even better man. I couldn't be more proud of you." 

Anakin's chuckle was full of self-depreciation, "Master, you have always seen me through rose tinted lenses. You believe the best of everyone like a good Jedi should. You are a perfect Jedi, everyone says so."

It was tempting to cut the tension with some humor, but Obi-Wan knew the moment he did, this would all be over and Anakin would be closed off again. Exhaustion weighed on him, but it seemed to be what had Anakin opening up. No, he needed to be honest with Anakin and come clean of his own turmoil. So Anakin wouldn't feel so alone, wouldn't think he was the only one who suffered from doubt and insecurity.

Gently, he turned Anakin's head towards him. "I'd like to show you something, Anakin. If you'll let me."

Curiosity shone through Anakin's tired blue eyes as he nodded, subtly leaning into his touch. Obi-Wan smiled for a brief moment and took a breath before pressing his forehead against Anakin’s. He’d never done this before, never trusted someone enough to not judge him for it. 

Their breathing synced within moments as Anakin followed him into the light meditative state. Obi-Wan took a moment to enjoy their togetherness, the blending of their Force auras that brought him such joy. Slowly, he lowered his mental shields and invited Anakin to look.

It took every ounce of courage he had to let Anakin see his own doubts, the feelings of inadequacy that had followed him since his days in the creche, the jealousy when Qui-Gon had essentially abandoned him for Anakin, the anger at his Master’s death, the anxiety he felt at not being good enough to train Anakin. His own loneliness through the years of aloofness as he strived to maintain the Jedi detachment to be a good example for Anakin. The overwhelming fear of failure. 

His love for Anakin.

Fingers cup his jaw and Obi-Wan opens his eyes that he didn’t realize he had closed. Anakin’s own blue eyes are filled with tears and he can feel a matching wetness on his own cheeks. He opened his mouth to say something, but lips pressed softly against his, silencing any words he might have said.

No words were needed as they clung to each other, confessing everything and laying themselves bare to each other. Love flowed freely between them, burdens halved, and comfort given. When sleep came, their bodies were wrapped around each other and their force auras irrevocably twined together.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr at [IcseK](http://IcseK.tumblr.com)


End file.
